🧑🎤 Talk Boosters – Day 21: ““Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child”—Agree or Disagree?”
🗣️ Talk Boosters – Day 21: “Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child”—Agree or Disagree?
🧑🏫 Instructions for Students:
Speak for 3–5 minutes expressing your opinion on whether children should be disciplined with physical punishment.
Try to use sequencing words like:
👉 First..., Then..., After that..., Next..., Finally...
Use opinion and reasoning words like: believe, think, understand, teach, learn, respect, fear, grow.
🗣️ Example Starter:
"Today, I will talk about the saying ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child.’
First, I believe children need discipline to learn right from wrong.
Then, some people say physical punishment can help control bad behaviour.
Next, others believe it can hurt the child emotionally and create fear.
After that, I think teaching with love and clear rules is better than hitting.
Finally, children should learn to behave through respect, not fear.
In my opinion, there are better ways to discipline children without using a rod."
❓ Follow-up Questions for Discussion:
1️⃣ Do you think hitting children is ever okay? Why or why not?
2️⃣ What are some other ways to discipline children?
3️⃣ How do children feel when they are punished harshly?
4️⃣ Can children learn better through love and understanding?
5️⃣ What do your parents or teachers say about this?
6️⃣ Have you seen any child change because of punishment?
7️⃣ What is the difference between discipline and violence?
8️⃣ Can strict rules be followed without physical punishment?
9️⃣ How can we teach children right from wrong in a kind way?
🔟 What would you do if you saw someone being punished badly?
SAMPLE 1/1
Today I’d like to talk about a topic that sparks strong opinions on both sides—“Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child.” This old saying is often used to justify strict or even physical discipline. But what does it really mean, and is it still relevant in today's world? Let’s explore this idea together with an open mind.
The phrase suggests that if parents or teachers don’t discipline children—especially through physical punishment—they will grow up to be spoiled, undisciplined, and disrespectful. Many people believe that strong discipline is necessary to teach children right from wrong. They argue that without clear consequences, children won’t understand limits. According to this view, mild punishment can be an effective way to stop bad behaviour and make children take responsibility for their actions.
On the other hand, many people—including psychologists, educators, and modern parents—believe that physical punishment does more harm than good. They argue that hitting or hurting a child, even lightly, can lead to fear, low self-esteem, and emotional distance. Children may obey out of fear in the short term, but over time they might become angry, rebellious, or even violent themselves. In fact, studies have shown that children who are regularly punished physically may struggle with anxiety, aggression, or a lack of trust in their caregivers.
It’s also important to understand that discipline doesn’t always mean punishment. Discipline can also mean guidance—showing a child what is right, helping them learn from their mistakes, and encouraging better choices. In this sense, discipline is more about teaching than punishing. Parents and teachers can be firm without being cruel. They can correct behaviour without raising their hands.
I think we need to strike a balance. Children do need rules. They need to know what is acceptable and what is not. But how we deliver that message matters. Shouting, hitting, or using fear might bring temporary obedience, but it damages trust. When a child is scared, they stop listening with their hearts. They may stop coming to adults for help. And once that bond is broken, it's very hard to build it again.
Think about this—would you rather be feared or respected? Most of us would say we want to be respected. And the same applies to parenting or teaching. Respect comes from consistency, kindness, and fairness. When a child feels loved and supported—even when they make mistakes—they are more likely to listen, reflect, and improve.
Of course, there are moments when children misbehave badly. They might lie, fight, break things, or talk back. In those moments, we often feel frustrated. But reacting with anger doesn’t teach them the right lesson. Instead of asking, “How do I punish them?”, it’s better to ask, “What do I want them to learn from this?” That simple shift in thinking can change everything.
Positive discipline methods are now widely recommended. These include using time-outs, removing privileges, or having calm conversations about what went wrong and why. For example, if a child breaks a toy out of anger, you might say, “Let’s talk about what made you so upset. Breaking things isn’t okay, and you won’t get a new toy until we sort this out.” This approach teaches responsibility, emotional control, and problem-solving—all without fear.
It’s also helpful to explain the consequences of actions. Instead of just saying “Don’t do that!”, we can say, “If you continue to shout, others won’t want to listen to you,” or “When you lie, it becomes hard to trust you.” These explanations build understanding and help children connect their behaviour with real-life outcomes.
Some people still argue that without strict discipline, children will become out of control. But strict doesn’t have to mean harsh. You can be a strict parent or teacher by setting clear rules, following through with consequences, and staying calm and respectful. That kind of discipline works far better in the long run.
Every child is different. Some are sensitive and gentle. Others are wild and energetic. What works for one child may not work for another. That’s why it’s so important for adults to be observant, patient, and flexible. We need to understand what our children need—not just what they’ve done wrong. Sometimes bad behaviour is a sign that a child is tired, hungry, anxious, or feeling ignored. If we respond with understanding instead of punishment, we may discover the real cause and help solve the problem at its root.
One more important point—children learn by watching. If they see adults solving problems calmly, they learn to do the same. If they see adults being kind and respectful, they imitate that too. But if they see shouting, hitting, or unfair treatment, they may grow up thinking that’s normal—and that’s a dangerous message to send.
I’m not saying discipline is easy. It’s one of the hardest parts of raising or teaching children. But we need to remember that the goal is not to control children but to guide them. The goal is not fear, but respect. The goal is not silence, but learning.
To summarise, the saying “Spare the rod, spoil the child” has been around for centuries. Some people still believe it has truth in it. Others believe it’s outdated and harmful. Personally, I think discipline is essential—but it should be delivered with love, not violence. Children don’t need to be hit to learn. They need to be heard, respected, corrected, and guided. When we choose kindness and understanding over punishment, we not only raise better children—we create a better future.
Thank you. ”